Updated: Oct 5, 2022
FORNICATION is simply the act of having sexual intercourse with the opposite sex before marriage, that is, sex between a man and a woman who are not legally married to each other; this is a sin before God as Hebrews 13:4 declares “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Simple things to do to live free from fornication:
This is something you may not want to see but it remains the first step to your freedom: BE BORN AGAIN. You have to be born again through faith in Jesus and the redemptive work He did on the cross of Calvary to pay for your sins. Except you’re born again, you may not see anything wrong with fornication nor be able to behold the massive destruction lying beneath the false, brief pleasure it offers due to age-long frolicking with sin. This is why you must be born again to have your spiritual eyes opened to behold fornication as destructive as it is and to really grasp why you must run from it. Moreover, without being born again, you’ll not receive the HOLY SPIRIT who alone enables a man to live sexually pure life.
Understand that sex before marriage is a SIN against God, and FEAR GOD. Joseph in the Bible could resist Portiphar’s wife’s offer of sex on a platter of gold because He feared God and knew it was a sin. He said “… how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”Genesis 39:9. You cannot fear God and still frolic with fornication. You cannot fear God and disobey His commands willfully. You cannot fear God and live in habitual disobedience to the core teachings of the Bible.
Make an unrepentant determination and an unbreakable commitment to not engage in sex again until marriage.
Quit relying entirely and majorly on self will, self effort and personal resolutions to stop fornicating; it never was constructive otherwise you would have overcome the habit. The moment you’re born again through genuine faith in Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit indwells you, you must then rely totally and majorly on the Holy Spirit- His help, His power and His enablement to live above fornication.
Love God. Love for God deters a man from engaging in immorality in order not to dishonor, disrespect and displease God. When you love God, you will not want to sin against Him by engaging in fornication. 1 John 5:3 says “For this is what love for God is: to keep His commands…” In John 14:15 Jesus says “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” And in John 14:21 He further says “Whoever has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me.” Therefore, when you love God, you will not disobey His commands. Love God by constantly reminding yourself of the depth of God’s love for you that though you were appointed for eternity in hell fire because of Adam’s disobedience, He sent His Son, Jesus, out of love for you, to come and die painfully on the cross for your sins, to pay the penalty of death for your sins and offer you eternal life by His resurrection which qualifies you to now spend eternity with God in Heaven.
Avoid looking/staring at sexually appealing body parts of the opposite sex, it usually stirs up the desire for sex which can result in fornication.
Get rid of sexual immoral/sexually stimulating images, pictures, wall frames, videos, movies, books you may have in your possession; in your mobile devices and/or in your room.
Part with friends who are into sexual immoral acts, particularly fornication. The company you keep affects how you live and largely determine the values you embrace in life.
Get closer to friends or make new friends who are born again and truly fear God; those who are living sexually pure lives and believe sex is only meant to be enjoyed in marriage. “He who walks [as a companion] with wise men will be wise, But the companions of [conceited, dull-witted] fools [are fools themselves and] will experience harm.” Proverbs 13:20 AMP. “Flee from youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, ALONG WITH THOSE who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” 2 Timothy 2:22
Avoid STEAMY movies, videos (music videos, comedy videos), TV shows, magazines and books, and avoid mostly any showing, promoting/supporting sex before marriage. What you constantly behold, read, watch and listen to, you unconsciously train your mind to believe and see as normal. And what you see, read, watch and listen to, especially if it’s sexual in nature gets stored in your subconscious mind and in times of relaxation/idleness replays and could stir up sexual desires.
Read, study and meditate on God’s Word often and daily (morning and night), and occasionally during the day at leisure. The more we fill our minds with what God’s Word says about sexual purity, the more we’re enabled to live it out. Psalm 119:9 says “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to God’s word.” If you’re a young Christian, begin your bible study from the book of Romans.
Daily commune with the Holy Spirit in prayer; He is a Person. Tell Him often how much you love Him and seek to live a holy life. Receive strength, power and grace from Him in prayer daily to live above fornication and sin in its entirety.
Engage more in spiritual activities and less in secular activities. Immorality is rampant in the world today; sexual immorality particularly is ubiquitous, you only avoid being adversely affected by it by minimizing your exposure to it and by building yourself spiritually to be able to resist the constant sexually-perverse darts of sexual immoral content from the world. Fast and pray once/twice a week, this keeps you spiritually healthy and strong.
Fill your mind and store your heart with sermons, books, videos, movies … that increase your knowledge of God, aid your spiritual growth, encourage you to live holy, and keep your mind focused on godly and good things. Make it a lifestyle. Colossians 3:2 says “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
Think of what to do to bless humanity and start working on it. It keeps you focused.
Avoid idleness; get busy.
Never be alone for a long time with the opposite sex, especially someone you find attractive, in your room, in a private place or in the dark.
At leisure, spend time on things beneficial to you spiritually; things that edifies, things with eternal value. 1 Corinthians 10:23 admonishes "I have the right to do anything," you say- -but not everything is good for you. "I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is beneficial.”
Avoid going to places where sexual immorality is practiced or where you’ll be tempted to engage in sexual sin e.g. nightclubs, bars, beer parlors, night parties etc.
Resist every temptation to fornicate with the help and power of the Holy Spirit. “Resist the Devil and he’ll flee from you.” James 4:7
Do not entertain sexual immoral thoughts; reject it immediately the Devil is bringing it by replacing the thought immediately with a good/godly thought or you can simply sing to God. Once the battle is won in your mind, you’ve won the battle physically.
Avoid having friends, following friends and pages on social media platforms (e.g Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube...) frequently sharing posts with sexual content, posting sexual immoral write-ups, pictures, videos and/or posts supporting and promoting sex before marriage.
When you fall into any sin, rise and immediately confess it to God genuinely, ask and receive forgiveness from God and repent of the sin. Thank God for His mercy and forgiveness and move on!
Daily declare to yourself during your morning prayers: “I am righteous in Christ. I live above sin. I overcome all temptations by the power of the Holy Spirit. I am holy. I live sexually pure. I am sanctified. Thank You, Jesus.”
Put pleasing God first (before any man, even yourself). Seek God first and His kingdom, and in due time, He’ll settle you maritally with a good spouse.
Pray and be led by God to a Bible-believing church where the raw truth of God’s Word is preached, taught and practiced. Attend church services and programs regularly, join a service unit (department) in church and serve faithfully, cheerfully and wholeheartedly.
Avoid dating. Yes! Avoid dating. You don’t need a relationship with the opposite sex until you’re ready for marriage. This is one of the major ways you avoid fornication. Because once ready to settle down, you get married few months after Christian courtship. In dating, marriage most often is not the end goal, and even when it is, people cannot resist the urge to fornicate or indulge in other forms of sexual immorality. So, have God- fearing friends -male and female, and when ready to settle down, pray, be led by the Holy Spirit and follow the guidelines of the Bible in choosing a life partner to choose a spouse from among your friends or any individual the Holy Spirit leads you to who shares your vision and life purpose. It’s always good and better to marry your friend because you know him/her, at least well enough than a stranger. In dating, people tend to be pseudo, but in friendship, originality is commonplace.
Always have in mind the dangers of fornication -the earthly consequence and eternal consequence of indulgence in fornication. Sex before marriage is offered by the Devil, and he’s well-known to offer nothing GOOD to man [having great hatred for man], and he also offers nothing without the price being extremely greater than the prize. The earthly consequence of fornication affects the spiritual, physical, emotional, marital, and financial life of an individual. It encompasses untimely demise, entrance into demonic covenants, sex in the dream, nightmares, murder, contact of sexually transmitted diseases, sickness, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, unexpected/unplanned fatherhood/motherhood, early marriage, unhappy marriage, birth of fatherless and/or motherless children, shattered destiny/unfulfilled destiny, guilt, fear, self condemnation, lack and want, lack of joy, rest and peace, unfulfillment, failures, disappointment, stagnation, limitation, fear of death, lack of God’s presence and His blessings… these are some of the negative experiences fornicators are subjected to on earth, while the eternal consequence if one dies a fornicator is eternal damnation according to I Corinthians 6:9 “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21 and Ephesians 5:5 conveys this same truth.
Have a vision for life by discovering your life purpose. It is a discovery of your life purpose that brings vision and vision in turn brings focus and self-discipline. With focus and self-discipline, you can easily spot distractions such as fornication, lust, porn, masturbation etc when they come knocking at your door. To discover your life purpose -CLICK
Always remind yourself that obedience to God comes with great benefits-God’s blessings. Isaiah 1:19 says "If you consent and obey, you will eat the best of the land.” The best is always reserved for those who obey God faithfully and cheerfully. Deuteronomy 28:1-2 also says "Now it shall be, if you diligently obey the LORD your God, being careful to do all His commandments which I command you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God…” The PRIZE of obedience far outweighs the PRICE of obedience. So, pay the price -obey God and enjoy the matchless innumerable prize of obedience.
FINAL WORD: Psalm 1:1-3 says “Happy are those who reject the advice of evil people, who do not follow the example of sinners or join those who have no use for God. Instead, they find joy in obeying the Law of the Lord, and they study it day and night. They are like trees that grow beside a stream, that bear fruit at the right time, and whose leaves do not dry up. They succeed in everything they do."
REJECT THE COUNSEL OF THE WORLD WHICH SAYS “SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS OKAY."
FOLLOW THE COUNSEL OF THE WORD WHICH SAYS “SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS A SIN” AND ENJOY ALL-ROUND SUCCESS.
God bless you.