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  • Writer's picturePrecious Victor Akah


Pleasing your spouse becomes easier when you know how they want to be pleased.

No matter how faithful you are to God, you cannot please God without faith. Faith and faithfulness are not the same, so you can be faithful to God and not have faith, hence, not be able to please God.

In the same vein, you can be faithful to your spouse and they still don't feel pleased.

Because, in as much as faithfulness to your spouse is a primary need and a general way to please one's spouse, there are still unique things - peculiar to your spouse - that makes them feel exceptionally pleased when you do them.

Now in our relationship with God, He does not leave us to guess how He wants to be pleased or how to please Him. He categorically told us in Hebrews 11:6 that to please Him, we need faith. Therefore, one of the primal ways to please God is to have faith. So if you're doing everything to please God but you don't have faith, you're missing the most important thing.

In our romantic relationship with our spouse then, we should not guess how to please them. If you want to successfully please your husband/wife, you need to deliberately ask them what and what pleases them, what do they want you to do to actually please them. Don't assume. Don't guess. Everyone is unique. How you want to be pleased may not be how your spouse wants to be pleased. Ask questions and, observe.

If you don't do this, you may be "wasting" time, money, resources and effort going out of your way to do extraordinary things for your husband or wife that they may not appreciate, recognize, value, and give you credit as someone who is making efforts to please them.

It is distressing (some even feel frustrated) when you're doing unusual, exceptional, or sacrificial things in an attempt to please your spouse and they don't appreciate it one bit.

So, to avoid this kind of frustration, talk TO and WITH your spouse - find out from them how they want to be pleased, so your efforts will be recognized and highly appreciated.

Isaac appreciated Rebekah's cooking because she knew how to cook what pleased him (Genesis 27:9).

You know what pleases God and how to please Him. And, you may know how to please a man or how to please a woman, but, do you know what pleases your husband or wife/how they want to be pleased? Are you doing it? If not, it's time to start - so as to spice up your marriage.


~Precious Victor Akah


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