Kindly go through this brief material put together from a sermon by John Piper, an American Pastor, on masturbation and sexual purity. It addresses both genders.
Masturbation is erotic stimulation of one's own genital organs or other erogenous zones commonly resulting in orgasm, and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies.
Why it is unadvisable to use it as a means for sexual gratification
1. It is a sin. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 “ God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Every one of you should learn to control his body, keeping it pure and treating it with respect, and never regarding it as an instrument for self-gratification, as do pagans who do not know God and his ways.” J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)
2. It violates God's intent. Masturbation is a form of sexual self-gratification. But sex is intended by God to be a means of mutual gratification between a husband and wife, not a means of gratifying one's self. Simply put, masturbation is an act of selfishness rather than selflessness.
3. It will not solve the problem in the long run, that is, it does not release and relieve the sex pressure very long.
4. It is addictive; it becomes habitual.
5. It produces guilt.
6. To complement (no.2), masturbation contradicts the God-given design for sexuality. Our bodies and our desires are designed for fulfillment through personal union, and self-stimulation contradicts that purpose and inevitably produces a sense of wrongness.
7. It is inevitably accompanied by sexual fantasies which we would not allow ourselves in reality; and therefore we start to become like the Pharisees- well scrubbed on the outside, and inside full of perversions.
Ten Words of Counsel Regarding Sexual Purity for Single People:
First, do not seek relief and satisfaction for your sexual desires through masturbation.
Second, do not seek sexual gratification through touching and being touched by another person even if you keep it short of sexual intercourse. Caressing and touching belong to married couples only, as it leads to sexual intercourse, if not, masturbation or frustration if stopped midway. It also violates the law of love because it turns the other person's body into a masturbation device.
Third, avoid unnecessary sexual stimulation. Which can come through what we look at, places we go to, what we listen to, what we watch and ultimately what we imagine in our mind as a result of what we allow into our mind.
Fourth, when the stimulation comes and the sexual desire rises, perform a very conscious act of transfer onto Christ, that is, consciously tell Jesus “Lord, I give this desire to you and exchange it with the desire of you, your love and grace to live holy and above sin.”
Fifth, pray that God would give you, in ever-increasing strength, the desire to know him, to love Him and obey him above all else.
Sixth, bathe your mind in God's Word (Bible) every day. The person that does not take up the sword of the Spirit (God’s Word), is going to lose in the battle for his body.
Seventh, keep yourself busy, and when there is need for leisure, seek your leisure in things that are pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8).
Eighth, don't spend too much time alone. Spend time with fellow Christians and encourage one another, pray with each other, hold each other accountable for purity. Talk about your struggles with trusted Christian friends you know will help you.
Ninth, strive to think of all people, especially people of the opposite sex, in view of eternity. It is not easy to lust after someone if you think about the eternal torment they may suffer in hell due to their unbelief. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:16 “Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh…” Meaning, we know everybody from God’s perspective.
Finally, resolve to seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness first, and He will add to you everything that you need sexually -that may be a spouse or it may be the grace and the freedom to be single in purity and joy and contentment.
GOD BLESS YOU!