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Writer's picturePrecious Victor Akah

11 Tips for Attracting, Retaining, and Marrying Your Dream Man


Equipping yourself with the right knowledge can help you attract and marry the man of your dreams—the one you love, admire, and would be thrilled to spend your life with, all while honoring God, blessing humanity, fulfilling your destiny and purpose, and living in dominion on earth.


These tips are thoughtfully crafted to provide you with essential insights into your marital and relationship life. Many have made costly mistakes due to a lack of understanding of these principles. Don't add to that number. Embrace the truth, value it, and use it to your advantage. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, so it's crucial to get it right from the beginning.


Here are the tips you need as a Christian woman to attract, retain, and marry the man of your dreams:


1. Be Visible: Don’t spend all your time indoors reading the Bible, watching movies, or praying. Get out and be seen! Attend public events, church programs, and seminars. Serve in your church to increase your visibility. Just as Queen Esther joined the parade to be noticed by the King, remember that even the best product needs marketing to be seen and purchased. You can't price or buy a product you don't know exists.


2. Smile Often: A warm smile can go a long way. Avoid frowning, as it can send the message that you are unapproachable or joyless. No one wants to befriend someone who appears unhappy or grumpy.


3. Take Care of Your Appearance: Pay attention to your physical appearance. Dress well, walk elegantly, and maintain good hygiene. Keep your hair clean and your nails neat. Remember to smell good. Shave regularly, and avoid unpleasant mouth and body odors.


4. Stand Out: Be a different kind of woman. Avoid throwing yourself at a man, seducing him with your body, or overwhelming him with calls and messages, or even confessing your love for him and proposing marriage to him. Show him that you are unique and have qualities that set you apart from others. Men usually go for a woman who has an outstanding quality that most women today do not have. Men are attracted to women who possess outstanding characteristics.


5. Be Selective with Your Affection: Don’t be too quick to fulfill a man’s requests, especially if you are interested in him for marriage. Decline some of his requests. And delay some. Maintain a bit of mystery and play hard to get but easy to live with in marriage; this creates intrigue. If you make yourself too easily accessible, he may take you for granted. Men value what they have to work for.


6. Avoid Desperation: Don’t rush to meet all his demands, as this can signal desperation. Most men prefer not to marry someone who seems overly eager to please then. They use desperate women to satisfy their needs (sex, food, washing and tidying their house) and proceed to marry a composed, cultured and well-mannered woman. So, focus on being composed and well-mannered.


7. Don't Spoil Him: Remember, you should "spoil" your husband, not someone who hasn’t yet committed to you. Avoid acting as a wife to a man who hasn’t made you his wife. Cooking for him once in a blue moon is okay, but don’t make it a regular habit. This way, he will appreciate your efforts more. And, don't go to his house to wash his clothes and clean his house, if you do, he'll most likely marry another woman while you're doing that.


8. Involve Respected Individuals: Don't make the relationship only about you and the man, let other people be aware, so as to test his level of seriousness. Introduce him to people you respect, such as your pastor, parents, or a counselor, before saying yes to a relationship. If he isn’t serious about settling down, he may back off when he realizes others will be involved. This also encourages him to treat you well, knowing others are aware of your relationship and are watching.


9. Avoid Speaking Negatively About Your Family: Don’t share negative stories about your parents, pastor, or guardians with a potential partner. Don't meet a man and start telling him how bad your parents are; how bad your pastor or guardians are; how you hate your father or mother, because this can give him leverage to mistreat you later. He may feel comfortable and fearless treating you poorly and wickedly if he knows you have a strained relationship with your family or pastor.

He can treat you anyhow since you won't tell anyone what he's doing to you.


10. Show Respect for Your Family: Always treat your parents, guardians, and pastor with respect in front of any man you are considering for marriage. If there are confidential matters to discuss, it's better to wait until after marriage to share them. Seek guidance from the Holy Spirit or a trusted counselor if there are vital details he needs to know beforehand.


11. Be Honest Yet Principled: It's important to remember that you don't have to answer every question a man asks, especially regarding your past, if it's obnoxious. When you do choose to share, do so thoughtfully and wisely. Avoid revealing too much about your past, present, and future plans too soon, particularly if he hasn't expressed a serious interest in marriage.


Instead, share details gradually as he demonstrates his intentions to marry you. It's wise to withhold certain information until the right moment, ensuring that it doesn't negatively influence his decision-making. For instance, there's no need to disclose the number of past relationships or sensitive experiences (like rape, abortion, infertility, STD/terminal disease/sickness, Genotype) until he shows genuine commitment. Similarly, keep your financial situation and future plans private until he shows commitment. Discretion is key.


I hope you find these tips helpful.


Stay blessed. You are a precious jewel deserving of love and respect from any man in your life. Don't settle for less or endure a loveless, sorrowful, or abusive pre-marital relationship.



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