Establish Your Values First
First establish your values and then you can find someone who shares the same values with you.
You should first establish your stand, for instance, on sex before marriage, before entering into or starting a romantic relationship leading to marriage.
Once you have established that you're not going to have sex before marriage, or cohabit with someone you're not married to, that becomes a value to you, so you look for someone who shares this same value with you to marry.
But if you do not have established values you're strongly holding on to, you'll dance to the tune of any woman or man that "sweeps you off your feet".
If she says you both must have sex before marriage, or he demands that you become pregnant before marriage, you suddenly become confused on what to do and start seeking the opinion of people or that of your friends on what to do, because you have not established any values yet: you have not established your stand on sex before marriage or on getting pregnant before marriage.
So, it is very important for you to set values and be loyal to your values and also communicate them whenever you can with people - this helps you easily attract and choose the right person having the same values you have and need in a life partner.
First establish your values if you want to simplify your decision making process.
Once you know your values, you can choose someone that matches your values.
Being confused on what to do when a married man or woman approaches you for a romantic relationship as an unmarried person shows you have not established your stand on the issue of being with a married person.
Establish your stand on crucial issues and communicate them boldly.
~ Precious Victor Akah